Ummeed par duniya kaayam hai

Human Brain Analysis

Women - Multiple process
Women's brain is designed to concentrate multiple tasks at a time.
Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe.

Men - Single Process
Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men cannot watch a TV and talk over the phone at the same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.

LANGUAGE.
Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain sets up. But cannot find the solutions to problems.
Men cannot easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems.
A 3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 year old boy.

ANALYTICAL SKILL
Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process.
He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she cannot understand it. She cannot understand the details of the map easily.
For her it is dump of lines in a paper.

Example of Superb Communication

Programmer to Team Leader :  

"We can't do this proposed project.**CAN NOT**. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system.And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects."


Team Leader to Project Manager :

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."


Project Manager to 1st Level Manager :

"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."  

If you Love Someone

12 Ways To Know That You Love Someone

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still
think of him/her.
ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.
TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.

Excellent

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.
A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner in the next 10 mins, I will EAT all this dung!"
Exclaimed the eager salesman.

Wiser Laughing - The Frogs

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs -millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

Wiser Laughing - The Turtles

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Wish

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden,
he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." The sky clouded above his head
and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be
faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the
bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour
and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish
that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what
they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what
they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."

 The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge”

Marriage Proposal by an Software Professional

Dear Ms. ABCDEFGHI,

Baby, I 'v seen you yesterday while surfing on local train
platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For
long time, I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can
be a real debugger for me now.

Value of Time

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what it is?" replied the man.
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."
SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behaviour."

Ownership of different media agencies

Dear Friends Very interesting & eye opener as well.

VERY INTERESTING.....ONE MUST READ....ANALYZE....& CONCLUDE.......

Let us see the ownership of different media agencies.

IBN LOKMAT: Belongs to Mr. Darda MLA from Congress. Have you ever heard this channel questioning Congress or NCP Ministers or their deeds or their ill-gotten assets? They have very soft channel towards these parties & now b'caz they are in power the infamous Mr. Nikhil Wagle is enforcing the opinions on the citizens. As a Journalist & Media he has NO RIGHT to enforce his or his parties (Congress + NCP) views on citizens. Many of us have observed news & panelist discussion on this channel. The (infamous) Nikhil Wagle is supposed to put questions to the panelist of all the party representatives & public representatives & present the facts before the citizens. However, The Infamous Wagle is enforcing his parties & his views on the citizens which we all have witnessed.

There was this news...

There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.

The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?

Expect Only The Best

Promise yourself to be so strong
                that nothing can disturb your peace of mind

To talk health, happiness, prosperity
                to every person you meet.

Tumhare pass kya hai?

Tumhare pass kya hai?

Senior Manager working in an MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee.

He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there.

To Kill time he decides to have fun with him. He calls him.

Senior Manager Asks canteen boy (Ravi Pujari): How much do you earn?

Canteen boy smiles.